Get What's Important Now done.  Get others to willingly do the rest.
 

It's hard to do what's easy.

I recently led a workshop where I described a simple leadership technique.  This is the technique:  You notice and reward the behavior that you want.  Now does that sound easy or complicated?

Here is the situation I presented.  You want your employees to show up on time, so you reward them when they do.  While there may be a hundred ways to do this, one way is to stand at the door and greet them when they come in.  Perhaps you even hand them a donut or a chocolate bar.  Once the official start time arrives, you leave.  Anyone who comes in late doesn't get your handshake, nor your donut.

Executing this is easy, not difficult.  Yet most leaders I present it to find the idea difficult!  They say, "It feels phony.  It's like I'm manipulating them.  They'll think I've lost it!  They'll expect it every day."  When I ask why they feel that way, they say, "I expect them to show up on time!"  or, "It's the company's time they are stealing.  I shouldn't have to thank them for not robbing money right out of the company's coffers!"  Of course, these reactions are understandable. 

These statements are frank admissions of the beliefs that these leaders hold about showing up on time at work.  Beliefs are deeply held expectations we all have about how people "should" behave, and how the world "should" operate.  They can cause 'judgmental' labels about others that blind us to seeing new ways of getting them to do what we want.  When contravened, we tend to want to "hammer" the person who doesn't see things the way we see them.  If we don't have the nerve or the authority, we tend to be "doormats"  instead.  We resent their lateness but we don't do anything about it because we feel we've tried all our options and there are no more.

For this reason, many leaders cannot use easy, common-sense techniques.  Unless you get over your judgmental feelings about the person who isn't doing what you want, these W.I.N. techniques will feel un-real and manipulative.  Non-judgment creates what I call a "Leadership Frame of Mind."  It lets you see the world through the eyes of another person.  Amazingly, you will often instantly see new ways in which to positively and intentionally influence them in a way that is sincere and with your integrity intact.

This is a demanding skill because you feel like you are letting them "get away with it".  The only way you can stomach this is to ask yourself, "Is my current approach working?  Are they doing what I want them to do?"  If the answer is a frustrating No!, then ask yourself, "What is my leadership failure costing me in time, money and aggravation?"  Is it worth doing something to get them to stop, start or keep doing what I want?

Coaching is the single most powerful way I know to rapidly master this skill.    Workshops are also effective, if they accurately pinpoint situations you yourself are facing.  If you can set your beliefs & judgments aside for even a few minutes before dealing with a difficult people situation, you will influence people to follow you in a way that builds up trust, not breaks it down.

Have a great weekend,

John Kuypers
 

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