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Building
Trust & Positively Influencing Behavior |
| February 2004 |
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Articles in this issue: 1. The WIN Leader: Are your expectations getting in your own way? 2. Books and other insights: The Marshmallow Study |
| News from WIN Leadership |
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Dear friend, Ever y leader struggles with the same question - How do I get people to do what I want? Of course you can 'beat' them into it - once. Maybe several times. But can you get them to do it freely and willingly? That is what separates frustrated leaders from relaxed leaders. Our goal - to help you experience leadership as a joy and a privilege - not a spirit-crushing burden. sincerely, |
| The WIN Leader |
 Are your expectations getting in your own way? Many leaders I coach and train freely admit that it is very hard for them to compliment a staff member who merely did what was expected. One leader told me he came back to his retail outlet after a week's holiday and the workplace looked spotless. He immediately noticed it but never said a word. Finally one of his staff came up to him and said, "What do you think? Did ya notice how clean the place is?" "Yeah, I noticed."' He left it at that. If you want more of a certain kind of behavior from your people, the most important leadership skill you MUST develop, is the comfort to notice it and reward it in a meaningful way. Do you think this man's staff will ever again make an extra effort to clean up his workplace after he responded to their efforts in that lacklustre way? I don't think so and neither does he. I asked him why he didn't say anything. "Well," he said, "I expect them to keep it clean. They were just finally doing what they should have been doing all along." His head hung low a bit. After seeing how easy it can be to get people to do what you want, he was feeling a bit embarrassed. Many leaders find it hard to praise people for doing what they expect them to do. Why? Because these same leaders can't give themselves a pat on the back. They drive themselves almost like tyrants, expecting perfection from themselves, and just a notch less than that from everyone else. For many leaders, the mere fact that they haven't been as critical on their staff as they are on themselves, is their idea of a compliment. When you focus on "being present", you notice what is ACTUALLY happening, you see it without labeling their behavior (lazy, low energy, poor initiative, deadwood, etc etc). Then you are able to see and do "What's Important Now." With a non-judgmental "leadership frame of mind," you will readily appreciate what others have done, and they will respond to you by giving you even more. In the good old days, this was called "horse sense!" May you enjoy more of it in the coming days and weeks! sincerely, John Kuypers |
| WIN News |
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Do you know what the
Purpose of your organization is? The ability to connect the
changes you want from your people, to the way it helps your organization
make a difference in the world, is a powerful leadership tool. It
overrides the natural desire for people to RESIST what you want, just
because it's you who wants it!
We're all like kids in some ways, resisting the boss just to show our independence. Linking your Purpose to the way people speak to customers, adapt to new processes, and cooperate with other departments, greases the wheels of change. Call us to find our more about our half day workshop called "The U.P. Workshop - Unifying Purpose for Top Managers." Go to http://www.winleadership.com/workshops/unifying_purpose.htm for more information or call us at 1-877-688-6326... This is a tool every leader will use regularly, because it works just that well! |
| Books and Other Insights |
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An insightful study
was done on the importance of Delayed gratification to building a
successful life. The study was done at Stanford University in
the 1960's and it was called The Marshmallow Study. Young children
were put in a room with one marshmallow for each placed on a table.
The adult then told them that if they could wait until he returned, they
could have TWO marshmallows instead. About 1/3 of the children were
able to endure the long and agonizing twenty minutes. These kids
were then tracked for many years thereafter. The ones who could
delay their own need for instant gratification, thrived significantly
better than the other children in career and in life.
The ability to
delay gratification is a core principle in being able to "be
non-judgmental and present", without a burning desire to make tomorrow
arrive sooner than it can! For more information on this study, go
to:
http://www.sybervision.com/Discipline/marshmallow.htm Special
thanks to Tim Rooney, Sales Training expert, for sharing this insightful
study with me. Learn more about Tim's innovative work at
www.rooneyearl.com
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| About WIN Leadership |
|
W.I.N. Leadership
is committed to growing leaders who influence people to change
by building up trust, not breaking it down. Go to
http://www.winleadership.com/support/traditional_vs_winway.htm
to learn more about what's different about WIN Leadership, and our high
impact, leadership training programs. |
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